May 14 2010
Life is a Shite
Life is a Shite! Others may say that ‘Life is a Pain’ but I mix the metaphors…
My back has a compression fracture, a prolapsed disc, a dislocated vertebrate, muscle and nerve damage. Unfortunately, this affects bowel & urinary functions. Yes, when I have to go, I have to go 
I can tell, ’cause I start squirming… A wee pause for station identification is required! Urgently 
Or I’m in massive amount of pain. Daily. I can’t remember the last time I felt a ‘normal’ urge to go to the loo… It’s either a ‘void’ or a slow painful experience. Or both. Sometimes none for days. Then several days worth over the space of an hour or so. Did I mention the pain?
Luckily I have an iPhone. And associated games. So at least I can entertain myself while waiting for Godot.
Which came first? The chicken or the egg? The bishop or the actress? The pain or the bipolar low? There is a direct relationship between the latter two sometimes. I imagine that there is a ‘bell curve’ for each and that mostly they overlap. Not always though, and does a low cause the pain? Or vice versa?
Pre diagnosis, when the curves went on for weeks at a time, I was always in both magnified pain & a low together. Or in a high with mild stress from doing to much & some physical pain. Now, with medication, the curves are shorter, lower & – usually – less steep.
Normally, if I’m feeling OK, pain thresholds are higher. Or pain is less noticeable. If I’m low, pain is magnified.
This is all well and good, but… Life is stil a shite. It ‘always’ hurts! Nothing to do with BiPolar. Just a f’d up internal system.
Did you know that the term ‘SNAFU’ means ‘Situation Normal, All Fucked Up’? Look it up… I should have it as a number plate… If you see me coming, lock up your loos!?!